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We Were Created in the Likeness of God’s Porn

What do you do when you feel like the love of your life is cheating on you? Do you try and hide in the surreality of your relationship? Do you dig deeper for revelation and truth hoping that something intimate will be birthed? Do you groan and cry and even feel sick at the end of the night on your bed? I feel this way even now. I feel so sick thinking of my love for Sarina yet something isn’t satisfying. I long so much to satisfy and please and honor and obey Christ yet I fall so short. I’ve been so careful not to harlet away my love and I’ve even asked God to proliferate my Love for Him. Yet I feel like even now I’m guilty of not doing enough for the Lord. I’m guilty of some secret sin and I’m darkened yet I’m lovely?!????? I have more questions than exclamations because I don’t understand it. I’m weak and broken. A false vessel longing to please the Heart of God. Yearning for the day I meet with Him.

The Lord has really been speaking to me lately through Psalm 4:4- He’s been asking me to meditate in my heart upon my bed and be still. (NASB). Yet I cry at that because some part of me thinks I don’t love God as much as I used to. I feel like I’m being robbed, cheated, and stolen. I’ve tried so hard not to chase other loves yet I feel myself walking down those paths. Malachi speaks boldly against robbing God. The connotation of the actual Hebrew word that is used is denoted as “deceiving” God. Because the reality is you cannot rob from Eternity. You can deny yourself eternity but you cannot rob from the Eternal One. You can only deceive yourself into thinking that you’ve satisfied your own heart by pleasing yourself with the desires left in this world. Paul preaches strongly against loving your husband or wife more than you love God and even so graciously encourages the lifestyle of being single and sold out on the things of God. Marriage and relationships are not a sin it’s just something that has to meet at the Heart of God or will fail every single time. If your marriage is not first meeting at the center of God’s heart and your together for reasons other than pleasing Christ and revealing His glory your relationship will fail. And whether you are single or not you totally should be first and foremost rawly addicted to the things of God. God will never let go of you or your heart just as he never let go of the prodigal; and understand that he is lovesick for you and will never cheat on you!

God has to be the porn of your life. You were made because of His vision of His son and His plans for YOU to partner with Him and feel the Value of His own glory. Which means so much more and has so much more depth compared to even an “excited” porn addict. Jesus was and is still and will continue to be the Father’s addiction: you are viewed through those eyes. So make God your marriage arousal, the love vessel, the sole provider, the satisfier, and satisFIRE. Oh Lord heal my weak, broken and contrite heart I pray! Dwell among the readers of this note and people of our nation God. Fix us we pray!