Christ's Light

Becoming a Martyr

All I really want to do Lord is fall into the gap of emptiness that is the space in between us and bridge the gap of our relationship. I know I need you. Here I am in my weakness and in my brokenness. God I am a wicked evil deceitful sinner that has taken advantage of my situation. I have manipulated things to get what I desire for my greedy heart and neglected to acknowledge your eternal plan. I am running to meet you because I want see you. Lord I desire to break this division, bring us back together again. As in the days before sin, let it be right now. God you are naked to sin Lord and I desire that relationship that Adam had with you before the reality of Genesis 2. I desire to stand beside the Trumpet Voice with the martyrs. Release a wave of happy tears, tears of rejoicing at the sight of You, so that I will shed the sin and struggle that I’ve carried all these years. Lord I desire to love and have no fear. I just want to tell you how I’ve missed you. I want to weep at the beauty of the Lord. Break me apart daddy and let my theology come from You and be based upon You.. I want to give you a great big hug and feel the real comfort of your love. I want to see you in all of Your Majesty. And stand forever in the light of your amazing grace. Before life revolved around the sun, Lord before we needed a lamp, when it revolved around you and you alone: I desire for those days. God your word says that on the day that is coming there will be no more darkness and you will be the Light. I hunger for that, I thirst for that day. Oh daddy, allure me back to you. I’ve yet to understand how you can love a wretch like me. How can you love someone who has committed 4 out of the 7 detestable things described in Proverbs 6? Oh God I need your forgiveness. Make me a martyr for your name’s sake. In Jesus name. Amen.

Wow… ok well that was definitely refreshing. That totally was not my plan for this blog but it happened so it happened. Well I don’t want to keep you long so I’ll dive right in.

I want to talk really quick about a prayer movement that is going to take cities. I’m talking for real. Just last night I had a scripture, particularly a chapter, that I had studied awhile back during my delving into the truth behind Eschatology thanks to my brother that really deserves a seat in the throne room for his revelations to me come to memory. Joshy I love you bro!!!

This prayer movement that is going to sweep cities comes from Revelation 6. In particular the part the is most relevant comes from verses 9-11:

“When he opened the fifth seal, I saw under the altar the souls of those who had been slain because of the Word of God and the testimony they had maintained. They called out in a loud voice, “How long, Sovereign Lord, holy and true, until you judge the inhabitants of the earth and avenge our blood?” Then each of them was given a white robe, and they were told to wait a little longer, until the number of their fellow servants and brothers who were to be killed as they had been was completed.”

I just want to say that this is going to release one of the greatest prayer movements that heaven and earth has ever known. When the martyrs underneath the altar begin to cry out “How long?”. That isn’t something that has been going on forever it is what is coming. A day that the blood of the martyrs will not only fuel a great revival on this earth it will release a prayer movement that the forces of evil CANNOT divide. What is going to happen is when the fifth seal is opened, which is what this is, we are going to join the prayer movement of heaven on earth and it’s going to release a power unlike anything we have known. It is going to be a day when there is an open heaven and God begins to fulfill what he talked about in Genesis 3:15. It will be the greatest source of enmity between God and Satan and we will be partnered with the Jealous Holy Spirit. Because on that day we are going to become the Amen to His Yes. We will be agreeing on one accord as in Acts 2 and pronouncing on earth what has been so longed for in heaven and this is the day when we will again partner with our Eternal Father. This is the glory of our calling, for us to reach our highest calling of prayer and intercession by corporately agreeing to fulfill something we cannot do on our own, but we can do together with fellow believers.

Now I bring this up because I have a something that I want to share really quickly and I don’t think this is just for me, but this is my part (I believe) in this whole thing. Recently I have been going through some issues in my own heart that I will openly address here and I kind of hinted at in the prayer at the beginning because I am past the whole issue of hiding it, and I’m all about addressing it especially after you hear this you will be quickened to understand why I’ve gone past that. Basically I have been taking advantage of my whole parental issue and attempting to get out of trouble from one parent by going to another and playing them against each other so that I could eventually end up at church. You see in my heart I had thought it was okay to disobey my parents and go to church anyway when really they had said not to. Because I had thought that it wasn’t right for my parents to take church away from me. Now, I haven’t been lying about what I’ve said when the earlier times of me being able to come back to church, but the times in between those times I have been being deceitful with how I’ve been approaching this whole issue. What had really been going on was one time it was my step mom who would take church away so… in order to get around that I would wait until she would leave and then I would ask my dad if I could go to church and him not knowing the situation he would say yes. Ok so you have to understand that I haven’t done this for a while and I don’t ever plan on doing it again but this is what used to happen. And the Lord spoke to me something very clearly way back at the beginning of this whole thing and He said “I’m allowing this to happen to you, Eric, because you love church more than you love me.” And that was really all he had said. Well I had fallen victim to the trap of the enemy and ignored that voice and went ahead to fulfill the desires of my heart which was to be at or around the events or people of the church.

So now you are thinking how does this all relate. Well, a few recent prophetic events have completely set this whole thing into place and that is what I want to address before I close. 3 months ago is when the voice of the Lord broke in and said what I had just mentioned earlier to you to me. 3 weeks ago I had an on fire Pentecostal Christian come up and invite me to his church and he was telling me all of the signs and wonders that were going on at his church and he asked me to come and check them out. Well little did I know I didn’t really want to make time to go and visit this other church (Hartland) because I already had a church that I had loved, and people that I have grown to love. Surely enough God broke in and told me once again that all of this is happening because I love church more than I love him. Just last night the Lord spoke to me again and said that he was using me as a vessel to minister to other churches and avert my love back to him. Then I got to thinking… “Josh had told me how the calling of First Assembly is to minister to the surrounding churches”. Well I believe wholeheartedly that this is one of those events. God is using my weakness and my brokenness to minister to a surrounding church and spark up a great revival. So Lord let it be! And on top of that the Lord is using this whole event to point out and destroy this specific area of my life where I’ve been deceitful and change my heart to a more appropriate form that is fit for the eternal kingdom. And I believe that I am not the only one that needs a change of heart and I don’t say that conceitedly I just say that honestly knowing that in reality even when I thought my heart was right before God it really wasn’t. And honestly it never will be because of the fact that I am clothed in sin.

So tonight I was praying in the shower in the dark (a love of mine ever since Josh had told me about it, and it is now a normal thing for me to do) and the Lord begins to speak to me. The Lord spoke to me about how I am a martyr in my own home for the Gospel and I will continue to use this testimony that he is giving me to win hearts and souls for the kingdom of God and that eventually I will become a martyr during the end times. I rejoiced at this word because I personally think it would be really cool to die proclaiming the Gospel. I embraced it and said Lord make me a martyr for your Word I don’t care what that means. I just get this really cool vision of my like preaching a word within a church or outside or something and someone just coming up and cutting my head off, and all I ever see is the part right before I get my head cut off. It is so cool! I also got to thinking about how cool it would be for me to use this whole event of me not being able to go to First Assembly anymore and get kicked out of another church (probably Hartland) for being a radical. Now how biblical is that you ask? Well look at the Ministry of Jesus. Did he not get kicked out of cities for preaching the Gospel? And look what happened to the apostles in Acts. Did they not seem drunk after they got a fiery baptismal of the Holy Sprit? And further on down in the chapter in Acts 13… Peter ends up turning a city upside down and the people are going “Oh God, this man is changing and turning this nation upside down what do we do?” Now not literally but that was their thinking in their hearts.

And with that being said, this is where I stand now. I long to be a martyr for the Gospel of Jesus Christ and I don’t care what that means to anyone but myself. I really don’t. Because quite honestly I would love and I do currently desire to join the martyrs in Revelation 6 and weep under the altar for so many to join my cause. I honestly believe I could be one of those people because of a prophesy that I received from Bridget in the House of Prayer last Friday night. She basically prophesied a Clarion call over my life and how I would have people flock to my ministry from the west, east, north, and south. Just as in the exact order from the scripture that Roosevelt Hunter read to the congregation during his Sunday night sermon last Sunday. She also stated for me not to compare myself to other people for my path was much different than everyone else’s. I really feel that this is the time. This is the event. And I don’t mean this in an arrogant or haughty manner, I really don’t. I am just merely stating what I feel.

Lord. You know my heart. And God I just ask that every heart would join in on this attempt to become martyrs for the Gospel whether it was prophesied or not. God forget my theology. God forget everything about me that is dark and incorrect. I just ask Lord that everything I do and say would come from you and would be rooted and grounded in your love and your love alone. I just ask Father that if anything I said tonight that wasn’t true or was a false testimony that you would strike me down and bring judgment upon me. I give you the authority to do that. I ask that you would do that Lord because I don’t want to be someone that I’m not. I’ve already lived out that life for the past 17 years of my life. I’m tired of it. And Lord I just ask Father that you would transform my heart and the hearts of this nation and bring them back to you. Lord allure this nation, speak tenderly to them, and bring unity again. Let us all become martyrs for your Gospel, I pray. In Your Mighty, Powerful, Holy, and Sound of Thunder name I pray. Amen.